The Lady Buddha, The Marble Mountains, The Beautiful Hai Van Pass, Flaming Monks and Sprained Ankles.

I have been up to one hell of a lot, so this is a pretty big post. I’ve driven from Da Nang to Hue where I have spent an extra day due to injury (Which I will get to later..)

I woke up on my birthday and ate epic breakfast and napped. I had no real plans but in the distance from the hotel you could see a huge statue looking out over the bay, so I took advantage of Da Nang’s nearly empty roads and sped off to see what it was. It turned out to be the statue of the Lady Buddha.

The Lady Buddha

The Lady Buddha, or Guanyin/Kwannon is a goddess of mercy and compassion and some Buddhists even believe that when one of their friends for family dies, the lady buddha places their soul in a lotus flower for safe keeping whilst they are taken to the other side.

There are many different stories about her and in Buddhist and taoist religions, she is revered as one of the main deities. Interestingly, in the studio Ghibli film ‘Ponyo’, the mother of Ponyo is actually the godess of mercy, or the lady buddha.

The view from the hill of the Lady Buddha, overlooking Da Nang

Heading into town I had got some information that there was a national military museum so I thought I would have a look. The war remnants museum in Saigon and the Reunification museum were all a little one sided, so maybe this would give a balanced view of Vietnam’s military history?

Nope. Not really.

It started off showing how tribes used to fight each other using tool and fashioned implements before they were bought under control by the emperors in various dynasties. Then onto colonisation by the french, the of course the americans, up until today.

A statue of a man holding his dead children over his dead wife who were all killed by US forces.

There was a lot of reference to “the puppet army” which is the South Vietnam army that fought against the north with the US forces. Since I was actually on a military base where the museum was situated, an army guard was the tour guide. She snapped at me when I mentioned I was living in Saigon – “No. It is not Sai Gon. That is the old name. It is now Ho Chi Minh City”

A captured american tank.

Right, glad we have that settled then. (The locals still call it Sai Gon..) Anyway, after about an hour tour it was time to grab some lunch and head off to the Marble Mountains.

The marble mountains were seen on the drive up from Hoi An but it was never really understood what they were. They look like huge islands floating on the ground. They’ve been mined for years and eroded slowly thousands of year ago by the sea to produce their striking modern day appearance.

Stairs up the marble mountain

The mountains themselves are actually a strongly religious site representing a ‘heaven’ and a ‘hell’. Starting off in the caves you can trapse all the way down through huge catacombs – bigger than aircraft hangers -to intricate carvings of demons eating people and destroying things.

Inside the mines of Moriar. Sorry, Marble Mountains.

There was the occasional shrine and temples carved into the sides of the building – it really was incredible to see how much detail had been carved into the walls of the caves. An interesting fact of the marble mountains is that they were used as a hospital to care for sick NVA troops during the war. It was noted after the war that they were easily hid from the US forces in Da Nang and Hoi An as they never took the time to explore the caves – Hiding in plain sight.

Sunset over the Marble Mountains

After walking up hundreds and hundreds of steps to the top of the mountain (at which the stairs stop and you’re pulling yourself over huge marble boulders..!) I was treated to this view as the sun went down. You can see the surrounding villages and towns, 80% comprised of stone merchants and some of the other mountains over to the rivers in the distance. It was utterly breathtaking to say the least, but that might have been how I felt after climbing all the steps.

I decided to spend the evening with something I’d been carrying with me for a while and had been saving for a special occassion.

The next day it was time to ride to Hue – The home of ancient emperors. This would mean taking the very well known ‘Hai Van Pass” – One of the most famous roads in the world (thanks to Top Gear.) It’s been said that this is the ‘best’ road in the world and to be honest, they’re probably not far wrong.

Top Gear voted the Hai Van Pass the #1 road in the world. It was fucking amazing to drive, quite frankly.

It twisted and turned up the mountains until it reached the top, where there were some abandoned fortifications / bunkers used during the war. Complete with bullet holes all over the show, the fortifications looked out over the sea, and both sides of the Hai Van Pass.

The abandoned bunker complex at the top of the Hai Van Pass. You can see how it twists round the mountains too.

I wish I had more photos to show you on the way down, but 10 kilometers of pure downhill riding was too much fun to stop and take pictures. I might have broken the speed limit once or twice but really, when do you get the chance to ride down one of the best roads in the world that is practically empty?!

The next day in Hue there was quite a lot to see and do, so I decided to book onto a boat/bus tour that you see tourists doing around the sights in whatever country you go to. I can only advise against these now as they are dangerous. 

Floating down the Perfume River on a dragon boat

Floating down the beautiful perfume river – so called because of the cinnamon and sandwood used to create incense mixing with the smell of the flowers that drop into the water ever autumn, leaves a perfume like smell in the air around Hue. It was off to a great start, a slow journey down see various tombs and pagodas of the emperors. Interestingly, this is the area that stanley kubrick set the latter half of the movie ‘Full Metal Jacket’.

Thien Mu Pagoda

One of the most beautiful places the boat stopped was the Thien Mu Pagoda. It’s one of the most holy sites in the area and is still used as a monastery by monks even today. They hold a number of relics here too such as.

You may recognise this car, it’s kept at the Thien Mu Pagoda as a relic

This? What is so special about this car?

It belonged to Thích Quảng Đức, a buddist monk who immolated himself because Ngô Đình Diệm, the president at the time, had implemented government restrictions and seizures of temples and monastries. In a completely planned event he drove his car to Saigon and set fire to himself with the help of other monks in protest to    Ngô Đình Diệm’s actions.

To quote one of the US journalists (who were informed days before that something “important” was going to happen)

I was to see that sight again, but once was enough. Flames were coming from a human being; his body was slowly withering and shriveling up, his head blackening and charring. In the air was the smell of burning human flesh; human beings burn surprisingly quickly. Behind me I could hear the sobbing of the Vietnamese who were now gathering. I was too shocked to cry, too confused to take notes or ask questions, too bewildered to even think … As he burned he never moved a muscle, never uttered a sound, his outward composure in sharp contrast to the wailing people around him.

Thích Quảng Đức sitting silently as he burns. This is a colourised photo.

It caused huge political waves internationally and Diem’s reputation was permanently damaged. What was left of his body was cremated nearby but it was said that his heart did not burn and was still beating as it was taken out of the oven. It is held as a relic in this pagoda and become a place of worship for many.

The tomb of Khai Dinh, a former ruler of Vietnam.

One of the last stops of the day was Khai Dinh’s tomb – a well liked and respected ruler of Vietnam, and one of the last. It took 30 years to build this tomb, almost the same length of his reign. I noticed a common theme of FUCKING LOADS OF STAIRS in all of these places I’ve been to recently.

Onto the most dangerous part of the trip, the incense village. I decided that I would maybe even buy some as the group were to watch conical hats and incense being made except I never made it.

I queued to get off the bus, took a few steps down and then ended up missing the last step, falling straight out the bus and landing on my ankle. Hitting the ground like a sack of crap and then hopping back onto the bus to nurse my ankle was the next things that happened to me, rather than watching villagers make things.

I was worried that I had broken it and being unable to put weight on it, I decided the next day that hospital was the only really decent course of action. A Vietnamese hospital, there’s a worrying thought. I was actually really pleasantly surprised.

The hospital in Hue – Comparable to any western hospital.

It was clean, I was seen to virtually straight away, and with the help of Google Translate – The issues were sorted almost immediately. It turns out I had only sprained it badly and not broken any bones, which to be honest, I was very glad about. Now I was worried as I knew this was private, like most medical places in Vietnam. I was on the phone to AXA insurance who were the most unhelpful bunch of assholes I’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with. I knew my travel insurance was pretty good, except the excess was around £75 for serious injuries and £25 for non serious injuries. This fell into the latter. After X-rays (Which I got to keep! :D), bandages, drugs (They gave me codine!?) and diagnosis, it came to about £24. Pointless making a claim I guess. Top service for a great price though.

Someone smart getting their leg fixed.

Interestingly in the bill, half of the cost was one thing which when I ran it though translate come out as “Foreigner charge”.

I actually laughed out loud. Can you imagine if they did that in the UK? There would be an uproar.

The Ancient City of Hoi An, Same Same, On to Da Nang, and the most luxurious hotel I’ve ever stayed in.

Waking up in possibly the nicest hotel I’ve stayed in yet, one of the main things I wanted to see was the ‘Old Town’ of Hoi An. It’s recognised as a world heritage site and as such retains a certain charm that you won’t find elsewhere in Vietnam.

The ancient town of Hoi An

Since about 6AD Hoi An has been used as a trading post for..well.. everyone. It’s reknown for it’s fabrics, temples and tailoring in Vietnam and a lot of the cloth and material used to make clothes came through here. The dutch, french, chinese, japanese, and indian domains all had a vested interest in Hoi An at one point as it was such an important place to buy materials. A lot of foreign traders set up shop permanently here leading to temples and a ‘mix’ of cultures.

The dragon bridge, used to separate the japanese traders from the ‘mainland’ traders.

A shrine in the Chinese quarter to .. uh.. one of the gods. I am so lame I forgot which.

At dark I took a trip down the river which so many traders and fishermen have used over the year. It was very pretty. Some children sold me a “lucky candle” – a candle which is placed in the river that floats down it among other peoples. It’s a very pretty sight. Shame about the rubbish picture 😉

Night cruise down the river.

Admittedly there is quite a touristy element here, but I guess you could say it’s been like that for hundreds of years. It’s a bit of a mish-mash of cultures. I did end up buying a Vietnamese style shirt and a few pairs of trousers, and a tourist t-shirt with ‘Same Same’ on it.

One of Hoi An’s twisting and winding alleys

(I actually love the concept of Same Same – It’s generally used in describing / selling scenerios where the seller is trying to convince you their product is the same as something else. Example: Do you have any pepsi? Buyer: No, here is coke. Same same. Thailand has a slightly different version which “Same Same but Different” – This is pretty much used in, well, anything really. Example: Do you have any cats? I want a new pet.  *buyer shows a dog* “same same, but different”

They’re not wrong I guess.

Anyway, after another night in the lush hotel, the ever-so-long drive to Da Nang began. 30 whole kilometers later down a quiet duel carriage way, and I’m Vietnam’s 5th largest city. It’s utterly stunning, it reminds me of London a little bit with less traffic, less pollution, less people and nicer surroundings.

The hotel that I hunted out on Agoda was actually run by a Japanese group called Azumaya. I didn’t actually realise this at the time but it’s a chain and GODDAMN is it good. Just wrap your eyes around this:

Ridiculously luxurious bedroom

Epic bathroom, including a whirlpool bath.

The restaurant in a traditional japanese theme.

The amazing (free) breakfast that comes in the hotel.

The rooftop infinity pool. It’s a hot tub that is warmer than a bath. Not pictured: the sauna, relaxation couches.

I’ve never even been in an infinity pool before. I was the only one there. It was hotter than a bath and the view over the forest out to the sea was INCREDIBLE. This place after saying in so many “interesting” hostels was needed. It’s utterly fantastic and every single thing about it I cannot fault.

One of the best bits about this? It costs £19 for the night. NINETEEN POUNDS. SERIOUSLY. 28 US DOLLARS. TO STAY HERE.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I think I am going to spend it being a slob, eating huge meals, and drinking excessively. We shall see.

The Beautiful Town of Quy Nhon, The Mỹ Lai Massacre and then onto Hoi An.

So after leaving the ghost town of Tuy Hoa, I continued north to the orginial destination – Quy Nhon (Kwee Non). The road itself was uneventful but pretty good riding compared to the rain of the day before. I saw some pretty odd things en route, this being the strangest.

It took me a while too, but I’ll clue you in. It’s the curtains outside the house.

I pulled over to the side of the road a short while later as I spotted an abandoned service station and quite frankly, I’ve always got time for exploring abandoned buildings whether it be in Vietnam or the UK. I didn’t find anything of interest really but there were some beautiful views across the bay hidden behind it.

Always time for a spot of urbex.

The view across the bay

The drive down from the cliffs was also pretty good. Quy Nhon is somewhat of a beach town, maybe akin to Portsmouth or Bognor Regis – Not quite the most famous, but still known to the locals to be pretty good in parts. The city was clean and pretty and rather small to other places i’d been, not to mention with legitmate asphalt roads (your ass and back really begin to appreciate these)

I checked into the hotel which had a fantastic view over the beach. This whole area isn’t very tourist orientated at all – yet. There are long beaches of untouched golden sands that still have been unspoiled hoards of tourists. There was not one person who came up to me trying to sell their wares in the entire time I was there. It actually made nice change.

The view from the hotel window. Not bad.

More tourists over the coming years were expected to be fair, so in an entirely hipster way, I got here before it was cool. After spending most of the afternoon on the beach, I decided it would be a good time to get some food. A german restaurant ranked pretty highly on tripadvisor, so I decided to go and have a gander.

The german restaurant.

It was pretty good, quiet empty but beautifully decorated in all manner of stone. After a few rums and ordering a schnitzel (I come 7000 miles from home and eat german food. heh.) The owner came up for a chat. He was a lovely man, maybe late 40’s early 50’s who had moved to Vietnam 12 years previous and started a business selling stone back to Europe.

He asked what I did, and I told him nothing currently, but I’d done.. well.. a lot, from bar work / manager to recruitment to body piercing and to PR & Marketing. He seemed genuinely interested and started telling me about a resort he was building down the road that would be ready about May 2015 that would need a manager, and suddenly the chat turned into more of a job interview. My food arrived so he left for a while to meet a few people in his office upstairs but rejoined me later to discuss the resort me. We exchanged contact details and left it at that, but he said he’d be very interested in chatting to me more about it when he is next in Sai Gon.

On the road to Quang Ngai a few really ‘soviet’ looking places like this stood out.

The next day I stopped off in Quang Ngai – It was a pretty small town a few miles from the sea. If I am totally honest, there isn’t much going on here; it’s incredibly industry orientated but what it really does do is hit home how much has changed since ‘The War’

Quang Ngai is the closest town to the the Villages of Son My and My Lai which are carved in history for for all the wrong reasons. The ‘My Lai Massacre’ was one of the worst parts of the Vietnam war where 350-500 civilians were murdered by US forces. I decided to go and visit the memorial museum.

A memorial to the dead. A vietnamese woman cradles her dead child whilst still standing defiantly. 

Company C of the 1st Battalion, 20th Infantry Regiment had been stationed in Vie Nam for around 3 months and the 11th infantry brigade had been stationed around Quang Ngai. In 3 months they had lost 28 men but never even encountered the enemy once – All deaths were through traps and explosives left by the NVA. They knew the villagers in the outlying regions were working with the NVA so were ordered to go to My Lai to investigate. Through searching they found two old WW2 rifles and after a gunshot was heard, it started. Through various miscommunications and the fact that some people had just *snapped* mentally, in four hours the entire town had be slaughtered.

a depiction in the Mai Lai Massacre museum of what happened that day.

Calling in various airstrikes to try and bombard the area, a cover up was attempted but to no avail. A few people spoke to commanding officers and it was referenced as not everyone had died; there were some survivors who told of the massacre.

22 members of the regiment were court martialed – all but one were found not guilty. The one who was found guilty was sentenced to 3 years house arrest before being set free.

A recreation of a burned down house, along with dead pets and cattle.

It really was an incredibly fucked-up time for everyone involved and goes to show what people are capable of when PTSD is commonplace among soldiers and people are seen as sub-human.

Anyway, after a coffee, I was back on the road towards Hoi An. I saw several strange things en route down the AH1. The electrics failed on my bike again so I pulled into have a few parts replaced on the bike and I noticed this too:

I don’t even know where to begin with this.

Sights like fridge-freezers upright on the back of scooters are common here in Vietnam.

I got to Hoi An late and tired. I checked into possibly the nicest hotel I’ve been in yet (pool, breakfast, minibar. Aw yeah. Even comes with a full stocked bathroom! £8. Oh, to give you some idea by the way..

View from the Balcony in my hotel room.

To give you an idea, 10,000 VND is 30p.
Yep.

Yeah, I’ll have a hangover tomorrow. Catch you all later 😉

The Secret of Monkey Island, The Wettest Day & The Sad Story of the Ghost Town of Tuy Hoa.

I got up early and dressed in my best pirate gear and headed a few kilometers north of NHA Trang to the docks where I would board a boat that would take me to MONKEY ISLAND. My name was Guybrush Threepwood Marc Allen and I was about to discover the secret of monkey island.

After what was the slowest boat ride I’ve ever had across the bay (Honestly, oars and whips would have been faster) I arrived at the docks and was not greeted by monkeys. This was a disappointment if I am honest.

Monkey Island in the distance

After walking around for a bit, there was a trail and a rickety sign that pointed to the direction of the monkeys. Following it down, I was expecting to see one or two – there were actually fucking LOADS.

This is a monkey, incase you had never seen one before.

The island used to be a weapons development facility during the war in the 70’s and then in the 80’s it was converted into a medical research facility. After they served their purpose, the building was shut down and the monkeys were just let loose on the island. Here they have continued to breed and establish their own ‘pack’ culture until around 2005 where the Vietnamese cottoned onto the idea of boat trips for people to go visit them.

This is another monkey with a parasite monkey attachment

Anyway, you get the jist. It was a very pretty island, I had a great time feeding bananas to the monkeys, they are greedy little shites and basically they act like assholes – more so even than cats. They’re basically uglier, less strokable cats. Yeah. That’s a good description.

This is where the monkeys hang out and chill. Hang out, hahah, it’s funny because they’re monkeys and they hang from trees and stuff. No? fuck you. I thought it was funny.

After walking round in the blazing midday sun watching and interacting with monkeys for a while, I got the boat back to NHA Trang. Here I spent the afternoon frolicking on the beach and getting smashed around by the waves. I never did discover the secret of monkey island, or if indeed there was a secret at all. 😦

This is the sea incase you have never seen the sea before. Not pictured: russians, surfers, people selling shit on the beach

That evening I ate at a ‘rock restaurant where I ate the most disgusting toastie I’ve ever had in living memory. The cheese was like congealed milk, the onion was quite possibly tapeworms and the bread tasted like soggy cake. I still ate it though because I’m British and we don’t complain, we shut up and deal with it.

I can also confirm, there were a lot of people surfing. A LOT of people surfing, including a lot of Vietnamese people. It turns out that not everything in Apocalypse Now is actually true. There were probably way more Russians in NHA Trang than the Flight of the Valkyries scene. NHA Trang was nice enough; a little resort-ish for my liking, but pleasant nevertheless.

The next day was a bad day for travelling and possibly the worst time I’ve had travelling ever, and definitely the worst day on a motorbike.

This was my view for 99% of the journey. It was not fun in the slightest, especially when a lorry splashed gravel and mud UNDER my visor.

I had to travel up the AH1 – You may remember me mentioning this before, except it’s NOT FUCKING BUILT YET.  It didn’t just rain, it hammered it down; only the 3rd time since I’ve been here actually. It turns out my bike poncho (Yeah, that’s a thing here) was on my previous bike that was stolen so I just had to grin and bear it. There were gale force winds smashing the traffic and all of this whilst avoiding huge holes in the road and driving on gravel makes the whole experience less than pleasant.

This is how rice is grown in huge quantities.

I stopped off for a break actually to see the first major plantations of paddy fields which was quite pretty – Rice is normally grown in the north of the country you see. I decided to stop off at the nearby town of Tuy Hoa rather than carrying on the AH1 to Quy Nhon as it really would be the easiest option than carrying on in this weather as I was getting miserable as fuck because I was soaked and not to mention my socks were wet inside my drenched shoes.

I arrived in Tuy Hoa on huge roads and thankfully the rain had stopped by this point. The odd thing is, there was none around. I checked in to a hotel which seemed to to be stuck in the 70’s and was slightly concerned at the fact there was blood on the walls.

Uhm, I am pretty sure that is a dried blood smear.

Anyway, I was hungry and wanted to explore the town a bit so I headed on out, forgetting the potential murder that might have happened in the room previously. Odd thing about the town though;

There was noone around.

It was really very strange. The roads had been built for a large amount of traffic and there was barely anyone about on a Saturday evening. In a very Orwellian twist there were megaphones blaring something in Vietnamese as I walked around town. I encountered a few locals who stopped and stared – I know this sounds strange but it was like something out of a film.

The ghost town of Tuy Hoa

I loaded up tripadvisor and found there was an american cafe near by called Bob’s. I navigated my way there round the desolate streets and soon found myself in a place where people actually were. It was a tiny place and Bob soon came out and joined us. Bob is a bitter/cynical ex-hippy who had come to Vietnam, married and set up his own cafe. He told me the quite sad tale of Tuy Hoa.

A very strange town

It turns out that there was a huge airbase outside the town limits which the americans built during the war. They needed somewhere large enough to land B-52s incase they got into trouble on bombing runs in North Vietnam. Tuy Hoa was a small town then and there wasn’t much work to go around. With the arrival of US forces, much more money came in. The town officials promoted helping them as they’d be in line for good jobs when the war was won!

Sadly, as history dictates, this was not the case. As the US forces departed and the North Vietnamese took control, they weren’t too happy about the whole place backing the South & US forces. The entire town was blacklisted from funding for a very long time. A lot of people moved away. What was a quite attractive tourist resort seemed to now be a place that time forgot. It was simply left to rot, or at best, just get by. The infastructure of the places was built to accomodate a lot of traffic and a lot of tourists on their white sands, but sadly none ever came back.

Where there was once industry and tourism, there is now nothing.

These days all that happens in Tuy Hoa is a three day marathon of feasting in honour of the gods of the sea.

The beaches here are untouched and incredibly beautiful. There are many hotels all at very low rates due to the lack of tourism (There’s NHA Trang to the south and Da Nang to the North and a giant motorway that connects the two – Why would anyone stop now?)

Anyway, Bob gave me the best pizza I’d had in ages and we chatted about the war here and the quirks of Vietnam in general before I decided to head back to the hotel and watch a film (There wasn’t much to do if I am totally honest!) Besides, I was going to get up early and continue my journey north, on to Quy Nhon – Hopefully this time with better weather.

This has been the journey so far. I’ve been going a week, it feels like much longer however!

The journey so far

Giant Buddhas, Giant Spiders, Da Lat, The Road to NHA Trang, Beautiful Views and a Furry Friend

I woke up in Da Lat a little chilly. It is about 10 degrees colder here than it is in Saigon, so I was already beginning to worry about what the temperature would be like when I get home to the UK.. I got my stuff together and after a bit of internet researching, I decided what I was gonna do for the day. I took the bike up some steep hills to see the ‘Golden Buddha’ of Da lat. It’s situated on top of a cliff overlooking the town.

Giant golden Budda overlooking Da Lat

Apparently it has a zen like quality to it, along with the rest of Da Lat too actually. It’s noticeably calmer than other places in Vietnam I’ve been – The traffic is slower and there is less on the road, there’s a lack of hurrying around and the people are a lot more conservative in the way they go about their business.

Anyway, I digress; I arrived at the site which was sort of tucked away in a residential area strangely enough.

It’s instantly striking as you can see. There’s a small garden in front of it with various religious iconography and characters that tell many stories. Admittedly, some of them were slightly shoddily made which detracted from the stories slightly and added a bit more humour but still.

Various religious characters

Giant.. uh.. swazika man.

Before any of you jump on it, yes, they are swastika. Initially this was a Buddhist /  Hindu symbol of luck and peace (oh the irony.) before the more commonly known variant came to be.

It was utterly boiling in the midday sun so I decided to head off to a placed called ‘Crazy House;’. It was technically known as Hằng Nga Guesthouse but was given the name due to the.. expressionist.. nature of the building(s). It’s a few of them in a small area all connected by walkways that go all over the roof, through twisting and turning corridors and that are sometimes supported by trees and natural beams rather than than actual walls.

The Crazy House

This is pretty much how you got around. They’re at knee height for the most part.

It’s in the top 10 most interesting buildings in the world and you can see why. When I actually got there one of the first things to greet me however was a Golden silk orb weaver spider hanging between a tree and a building.

Giant Orb Weaver Spider. Made entirely of ‘FUCK THAT’ and ‘NOPE’

NOPE.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. FUCK THIS BACK TO WHERE IT CAME FROM. This bastard was huge. I knew at some point I’d encounter some fucked up wildlife here in VN, but I didn’t think it would be this soon and in the top 5 things I didn’t want to see at all. YOU CAN SEE IT’S JOINTS IT’S SO BIG. For comparison this was about the size of a small plate when it’s legs were stretched out. FYI these spiders are known to eat snakes and birds and the like. They have a bite which can cause you some serious pain but thankfully not lethal. I’ll be honest, it took some bravado just to walk under it without wigging out – too much.

View from the roof

Anyway, the view from the top of the crazy house was quite pretty, even if the walkways were around knee height. That was slightly concerning for me; who is afraid of heights.

In the evening in Da Lat, I met up with some friends who I met in Saigon and had a few drinks with them. They seemed to be a day behind these travels in the same route so bumping into them is a regular occurance.

The next day it was time to go to NHA Trang. The NHA is ‘National Heritage Area’, and it’s like that for a reason. The whole place is beautiful from leaving Da Lat through to the sea. Upon exiting the city limits, there was empty road again. I’m beginning to utterly love driving through rural Vietnam. It was just forest as far as the eye can see with very very few people on the roads.

The road to NHA Trang through the woods.

Down and down the road went from the heights of Da Lat. It twisted and turned around the mountains and through sparse forest that turned into jungle. The only people who I actually saw were villagers of the small settlements the road went by or through, the road was pretty much empty. I actually do wish I had a more powerful bike (Although the occasional pothole would have made that more difficult..)

Starting the 1,500m decent from Da Lat..

Soon I was presented with one of the most beautiful views on this trip yet; across the national heritage mountains. There was a valley carved out that the road followed. Again, empty roads bar the locals. I had to stop and admire the sheer beauty of the place for a while (And got a bit sunburned again.)

Beautiful canyons

Passing waterfalls and foliage until the road ran straight and paddy fields lined either side, NHA Trang came quickly. The electrics on my bike had failed a few kilometers out of town as I had been really ragging the bike up to Da Lat and back down again, so it’s not surprising. I stopped at a garage for a quick part change, glad that Honda Wins are so easily repaired.

After finding the hostel I fancied a quick drink so walked down to a beach bar and practiced my Vietnamese with one of the bartenders. We spoke about Tattoos for a while and how he wanted to get a giant tuna on his back as his family are fishermen.

A beach bar in NHA Trang

Soon I ended up being enticed into a bar nearby by a friendly american guy who was asking all about the trip. No sooner had I sat down, I made another new friend who I wanted to take back with me.

A little friend I made in the bar

I actually could have stolen her she was so lovely. Awh. Tomorrow I will be finding out the secrets of monkey island and spend it mainly sitting on the beach.

Riding through apocalypse style roads in the desert, up mountains, and through vineyards to Da Lat.

Setting off from Mu Nei, I knew this was going to be a long journey. I wasn’t too sure what to expect, but 160km on a 110cc motorbike through mountain roads is not going to be an easy feat.

The coastal road was beautiful – Desert on one side, sea on the other, virtually no traffic. Smooth roads. It then turned off into the desert and headed straight through.

Is this Fallout New Vegas or is this Vietnam?

This felt remarkably like Fallout: New Vegas, even to the “random places” you see in the distance. A good example here is the huge jesus statue you can see to the right of the picture next to the pagoda being built in the middle of a wasteland.

I can’t tell you how desolate this place actually is – there was no-one for miles. I very rarely saw another biker. Breaking down was a slight worry as it was getting REALLY hot at this point too.

Roadside Cactus

The open road.

The road changed slightly, in the distance there was a huge mountain range. I had a feeling that’s the road I’d be taking sooner rather than later!

It goes on and on..

The road was going up and up, higher and higher. Some of the very steep places, the poor lil bike struggled but made it in the end (Even going up in first gear at points..!) This went on for hours, the road now full of potholes and old construction scars, twisting round the hills like some kind of asphalt snake.

After riding uphill for what seemed like hours, I was treated to this – One of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.

One of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen.

The picture doesn’t do it justice. It was stunning. I could have stared for hours, you can see far far into the distance. Jungle and small towns into the mountain ranges and hills in the distance. Now came to the trip across the plateau towards Da Lat – Vietnam’s most famous wine growing region.

Progressing downhill was great fun and I probably saved a lot of petrol too 🙂 The bare / scrubland / wastes had turned into lush green jungle-y forests and areas cleared for vineyards.

The vineyards heading into Dalat and the road through the mountains

Nearing Da Lat the road got worse again, full of potholes. I guess it must be hard to maintain them as there really isn’t many people out this way. Soon after, I arrived in Da Lat. It is significantly cooler here – By nearly 8-10 degrees compared to Ho Chi Minh City. I realised this is because the city sits 1,500m above sea level and being in a valley, has it’s own ‘microclimate’.

Da Lat. A very pretty, typically vietnamese city.

The city itself, I haven’t had time to explore fully – That’s what tomorrow is for. The hotel I’m staying in cost me £3.20 for the night – You cant argue with that. More on Da Lat tomorrow.

Vietnamese Desert, Russians, Rock Formations, Seafood – That’s Mu Nei.

I decided (mainly because I wanted a relaxing day) to stay another day in Mu Nei. This place is essentially Vietnam’s Bournmouth or Blackpool – It’s a resort town. It’s incredibly popular with Russians (Who are allowed to get instant or easy long term visas here) and also a fishing village. The whole place “feels” quite strange compared to other parts of Vietnam. It’s quiet and there are so many Caucasians, it’s rather strange. I woke up in the hotel, went for a swim in the hotel pool and then set about looking for something to do.

Fishing boats around Mu Nei

There was a place all the tourist touts were trying to get me to go called the Fairy Springs. With such a masculine name, it was an instant ‘must see’. A short bike down the coastal road, I parked at a cafe. You have to walk upstream to actually get to this place. The water is warm and shallow and you start to see why people like this place.

Walking upstream to the fairy springs

The interesting thing about Mu Nei is that it borders a ‘desert’ – Yep, we’re talking the works, sand dunes and everything. The water runs up through a spring in the middle and seeps down creating rock formations like this

It forms a sort of mini ‘Grand Canyon’ effect that I ended up walking a fair while down. Also there is a bit of a ‘quicksand’ area where the water seems through into the sand. Anyway, after lunch it was a quick trip jaunt up to the desert to investigate that in more detail.

Desert. Lots of desert.

Well, what the hell were you expecting from a desert?

It’s got a lot of sand and it goes on for a long long way. There’s a bit more foliage I guess here than you’d get in other deserts I’ve seen (Sahara, Sinai) but it’s still bloody hot. I managed to get sand *everywhere* from only being there a short while.

Yet more desert

I headed back for a nap because quite frankly, I was shattered from all the walking around in the prime-time heat of the day. In the evening, some food out was on the cards. Being a very russian area, russian food kind of made sense. On the way there however there were multiple people with seafood ‘stalls’ – I wasn’t too sure why until it dawned on me, you select which animal you want to eat, they kill it there and then and BBQ it for you right in front of you. Anything from frogs, to sharks, to lobster – Anything

ALL THE CREATURES OF THE SEA

Anyway, I decided to go back to the hotel after a few drinks because it was an early start where I was riding to Da Lat, and that was going to be one hell of a journey.

The start of the 1,500 mile trip on a small motorbike – The road to Mu Nei.

I am currently in a hotel room in Mu Nei (Pronounced Moo Nay). I have clean sheets, air conditioning, and after the ride I’ve had it is utter heaven.

There was a disastrous start to this trip. I might not even have been going all this way, but thankfully circumstances are better now. My bike was stolen in Bui Vien as I was filming the ‘The Red Road’. I was utterly gutted at first, did all I could. Turns out the Vietnamese are really big on tickets and I had actually parked in a bike park (No signs, just a concrete sidewalk for all intents and purposes..) and when I got back, It wasn’t there because I didn’t have a ticket. Security didn’t want to know and the police did nothing. What is most likely happened is it was spotted not to have a ticket, someone came along, started it and took off with it after paying the security guy a ‘fee’. Bah. $175 down the drain.

The Vietnamese love their bikes and scooters. You need a special licence for anything over a 125cc. Someone paid a lot of money for this! (Note this is not my bike!!)

After a much needed sleep and some food, I set about finding a new bike – (Ideally with the same weird gear pattern of (N 1 2 3 4 that mine used to. Seriously, it makes sense, why have 1 N 2 3 4 that I’m told the vast majority of bikes do?)  I wasn’t about this let this piss on my bonfire. I’d been thinking about this trip for weeks.

Anyway, I eventually bought a new bike for a similar price, exact same model but all in black. There’s actually a USB charger on it as well so I can use Google Maps which came in VERY useful on the roads.

Setting out from HCMC at 9:30 was the plan, hit the traffic and the highways and carried on through till the city limits. We needed to get on the AH1 – Pretty much one of only a few roads that run through Vietnam the whole way. I was told it is still under construction so to watch out for parts. The part I needed was under construction so after a while of faffing about and driving in circles, the right route was found. Except.. It didn’t really seem like a route. Was I lost?

The road we were directed down

As you can see, that doesn’t look like much of a road. Red dirt and huge bumps and pot holes. It essentially wound its way all through a rubber plantation.

Plains, seen from the road

It went on and on. There as virtually noone; a few passers by, a few farmers tending to the trees. It was a real ‘out in the sticks’ drive. It suddenly got very foresty and all you could see for kilometers around were rubber trees. Going from light into dense forest. Hmm. If this was a video game, this is the point I would save.

It was full of rubber trees, utterly beautiful – If a bit bumpy!

Soon after this came some real road which took me through a lot of small towns and villages and past many fields. It’s still very “jungle-ish” in these parts too, so those that aren’t filled with houses are just covered with foliage.

It got a bit desolate at times

The roads carried on for hours until it turned back into the AH1 – The main highway, which is what I was after in the first place!

A typical vietnamese graveyard

A few more hours down the AH-1 and a brief conversation with my friend Jason over Facebook, he recommended a hotel to stay at in Mui Ne. I was trying to get there fairly quickly now as the diversion through the rubber plantation had taken up a huge chunk of the day and the sun was going down. Vietnamese roads are insane at the best of times and at night they’re even worse.

Nearing Mu Nei. It was actually a beautiful sunset.

A little further on a warning rang true “Be careful of the AH1, It’ still under construction”

Yes, but what that involved was DRIVING THROUGH IT AS IT WAS BEING FUCKING BUILT. Huge JCBs and diggers were moving large quantities of dirt, machines laying asphalt were placing it over gravel as motorbikes and scooters ducked around them. The road had turned to gravel now, and I had to drive slowly for fear of slipping. It was so dusty the sky had turned red with all the crap being kicked up from construction. Huge articulated lorries beeping their horns in frustration at sharing the same one lane as the tiny bikes (Goddamn are they loud). This all went on for about an hour, it was a pretty stressful turn of events. Luckily however, Mu Nei was just round the corner.

Finally I arrived in Mu Nei and found the hotel that Jason had mentioned. It was lovely and had a surprise waiting too

Oh yeah. This is needed.3

Today, I am going to do some serious lounging and maybe see what delights this place has to offer. I briefly caught one of the local favourites on my way here:

Local Cuisine.

Yeah… Maybe tomorrow.

The day I became a US Marine

As you all know I was recruited recently to be in a war film as an actor. We weren’t told a lot about it at all, just to turn up to a central location, we’d be paid $110 for a day’s work and that there were about 25 of us needed. By ‘Us’ I mean white or black men aged between 19 and 34.

So I turned up, boarded a coach that was waiting at 6am for us and got chatting to some of the other people hired for the day. Everyone was pretty nice, chilled, a bit sleepy as it was an early start. We then got briefed on what we were doing as we set off leaving HCMC. The Vietnamese government had commissioned a film from one of the top SE Asian film studios to mark the 40th anniverary of the reunification of North and South Vietnam. Because of this, they needed 25 people to form a few squads of men acting out the role of the US marines in Bien Hoa. The film itself was to be called ‘The Red Road’ – The rough translation, anyway, and on the 30th april it would be shown across the largest TV stations throughout Vietnam! I was pretty excited that millions of people get to see me on TV 🙂

I managed to catch some sleep and woke up as we arrived. It was basically a clearing in the middle of a wooded/jungle area outside the city limits. We were issued our ‘kit’ including a real M-16. We realised a lot of the kit – webbing, backpacks and guns were actually authentic, which to be honest was a bit of an odd feeling.

What was stranger is that there we a number of mounds around the area with trenches behind them that were dug out very well and looked solid. I wondered how long this all took to make (The clearing, trenches, etc). When asked, one of the producers proudly tell me “oh hahaha no no, many years ago americans make it and run away, get shot by vietnamese, they attack.” Oh. Right. We were standing on the ruins of a base. Wow.

The huey and pilot

Anyway, no sooner as we had finished talking, two huey helicopters screamed in from somewhere and landed near us. Once all the dust had settled we were told to go over to them – One team in each.

My squad.

Inside the Huey – My M-16 and the minigun attached.

I never signed up for this. Holy shit, we get to go a helicopter. The scene was “Chopper lands in clearing, marines jump the hell out fast and run in single file off camera” – Sounds easy enough. Honestly though, Jumping in and out of a huey is actually harder than it looks with all the kit on. 7/8 people inside plus pilot, ‘gunner’ and co-pilot all running to get in within 10-15 seconds is pretty hard going. It took off fast, spun round and headed off. We only really had one take as the fuel for these things is fucking expensive, so we had to do it right. I should probably mention that there we no ‘windows’ as such, it goes straight outside into the sky. I should have probably mentioned I’m scared of heights, heh.

I should have probably mentioned, I am scared of heights. This is when it was circling round back to the woods/jungle.

As you can see from the video, It went pretty damn well for both teams. We landed, exited without a hitch and ran off camera.

We then were loaded onto a bus and moved maybe half a kilometer north, through the trees to another clearing, where a FULL GODDAMN MILITARY BASE HAD BEEN MADE.

The base at dusk – Probably the best picture of it before.. well.. read on.

There were 7 APC’s dotted around (Armored personnel carriers for those that have no idea- Troop transporters), a few watchtowers 4/5 tents set up around trenches and general.. military.. stuff just around. There was an artillery battery set up to the side and it was just very impressive all round to look at.

The APC detachment

The gun battery

We had a break for lunch, it was about then I realised how much I’d been sweating – I still had jeans under my trousers and a t-shirt on under my top. The prop company were funny about us wearing it straight off (probably to save money on cleaning it..) Still looked badass though.

Me, slightly sunburned and fully badass.

Anyway, we filmed more ‘generic base shots’ with us milling around, pointing, cleaning the guns (I took the opportunity to teach everyone how to actually cock the weapons and dry fire them ^^) and we had then another helicopter scene – This time the same thing but in reverse. Getting all our shit together then running into the huey for an emergency take-off. MORE AIRBORNE FUN.

Anyway. Night fell and we had to film the “patrolling the base / jungle in an APC” scene which was ace. I’d never been in one that actually moved before, so this was a new experience for me.

Me, in command of a large machine gun 🙂

This went on for a good few hours, and as we approached 10pm, the finale was being set up and talked about.

This involved the full scale NVA assault on the base, and we weren’t told very much except there would be a lot of pyrotechnics. All 7 APC’s lined up behind the base, and we had to run either side of them, to keep formation. I was hopeful the drivers knew what they were fucking doing as running 1 meter away from a fast moving APC with huge tracks is pretty inimidating, especially if you’re leading everyone else..

We practiced a few times and then on action, we ran. We prepared for the final take and usually the shout of “READY… ACTION!” let us know that filming had begun but this time.. “READY…. ** BOOM **”

There was a huge fucking explosion that made every sane person duck. Now I’ve seen pyrotechnics before but this was *huge* – You could feel it in your lungs. We ran like we’d never ran before as more and more huge fucking explosions went off. Bit of debris and sand went EVERYWHERE. Just as we were running out the base front door the watchtower – now with an added mannequin” exploded in a ball of flames, sending huge chunks of wood flying everywhere. Of course, I’d have loved to film this but sadly I only managed to spin round off camera and snap this.

The base, blown to hell. There was only a few bits left that weren’t on fire. Health and safety isn’t really a big thing here, incase you hadn’t realised.

As you can see.. there isn’t much base left at all. Everything else was blown to hell. I was covered in dirt, mud etc. We weren’t done filming yet.  We were then taken to the artillery battery and filmed loading and firing the things, repeatedly.

Anyway, about 1am we all piled back on the bus which took us back to HCMC. One of the best days I’ve had a since I got here. I met some utterly fantastic people, nearly got blown up, flew in a helicopter, twice and was in a moving APC. It was fantastic- I even got paid for it!

Tomorrow, I begin the trip up to Hanoi.

It’s 1,450 miles i’m gonna put my little bike through, and it’s going to be 20 days of riding and chilling out inbetween. Many guesthouses, probably a few mechanics, lots of coast and some beautiful views to come.

Hope you’re all well ❤

That time I bribed the police.

It’s currently about 5:30am and I’ve been up for 2 hours. I’m sat in my kitchen, drinking whisky I was smart enough to buy from Gatwick duty free because I am unable to sleep now I’ve been up and driving around town two hours previous and chatting to some ‘lovely’ officers of the law.

Vietnam police officer.

Why would I get up at such an ungodly hour?

Well, I have been given a part as an extra in a war movie being filmed in Vietnam. It’s’ a very early start – 4am – from a central location. All the extras would probably get picked up and dropped off somewhere else you see. Anyway, I got there. Waited. Noone about, just drunk tourists and the local girls that dote on them.

Checked my phone. I had a text from hours before I must have missed saying the shoot had been cancelled. Not too happy about that one. Got back on my bike, started to drive home.

Now you might have seen the unholy rivers of metal and pollution that is Vietnam’s roads before but I assure you at this time of day, they’re the polar opposite. Nice, quiet, noone around. I was driving down one of these nice quiet main roads now as a Vietnamese police office runs into the road from the pavement and flags me down. I pull over and take the key out and pocket it – I’ve heard some tales of people running off with them and stealing bikes later, even police.

“Hi. You give me licence and registration”
*Shows registration* – “Sorry, I must have left my licence at home. Why did you stop me?”

“You no indicate round corner”
“I’ve been going straight on for about 3 mins”
“No. You no indicate. I take your bike for 7 day.”

I realised at this point that I was the only one on the roads, quiet obviously white, and read between the lines. For those of you that don’t realise, corruption runs very high in Vietnam. It runs even higher in public services, especially the police. This was essentially a shakedown. These guys have a small amount of power to make the average citizen’s life very difficult if you don’t play ball and to a lot of them, tourists are walking wallets. I knew arguing wasn’t gonna help, he was just going to get annoyed at the lack of communication and after all, I didn’t have my licence.. so I figured we should just play this one by the book.

“Ok, how about a fine?”

“what”

“A fine. I pay you. I say sorry. I go”

At this point I got my wallet out my pocket and the police officer and his friend who was standing nearby look around to see if anyone is watching. I pulled out a wad of notes – about 190-200k and handed it over. This is about £5.80-6. To me or you, this isn’t a lot of money, but to the Vietnamese, this is really worth something.

He looked over the wad of notes and nodded. “Ok, go now”

The officer brushed his hand as if to say, “G’wan, fuck off mate” and fuck off I did. Got home, more annoyed than I was previous and now very awake. Bah. So instead of days work that would have netted me 70-80 quid, I’m actually short a fiver now.

Bollocks. Still, this is Vietnam. This is how things work here.